I wish I knew.
I’m like a train. One day I feel as if I’m right on track. And then suddenly I derail again. I wish I knew.. I wish I knew. Pacing back and forth trying to find an answer to solve this intricacy. There is a deep paradox of unknowing residing within me. I feel like I’m reaching for something that is completely unfeasible. For so long, I’ve wandered around with no place to go. Empty. Desolate. My soul is a vacancy. Am I alive? Is anything of this real? I don’t know myself. I wish I knew.. I wish I knew.. Spaced out in a world wind full of fear and perplexity. Surrounded by a series of vertiginous impediments and fallen dreams. If only.. If only I could face this nonsensical feeling of revulsion. I’m convinced that I was born full of poison. I’m toxic. I’m a maniac. I’m veraciously disoriented in my own apperception. I just wish I knew….