December Blues.

It’s such a cold day. I step outside, take a breath. My hands are so numb. My lips are quivering and my entire body is shivering. I’ve had so much on my mind. Time.. Yeah, time. Continues to slip on by. Never on my side. Yeah, I pushed you aside. I still have that necklace you gave me years and years ago. You didn’t give out much. But.. Oh. You had an abundance of love. Something I was too selfish to see. All I could think about was me.

December, blues.. Should of known I would miss you.. I took your presence for granted while you were still around. If only you could hear my thoughts aloud.. Just once. Just one chance to get all of this off my chest. I hope you knew. I’m sure you did. But, even if you did I wish I could let you know again.

Only 33.. 4 babies. They’re all growing older and bolder than ever. Yeah, no one knows why things have to play out like they do. I question it over and over. Knowing that I’ll never receive a straight answer. I felt that something was wrong as soon as I saw my mother hang up the phone. I carried on getting ready but I felt my heart grow heavy. So much changed that day. Their happiness was thrown away. It breaks my heart.. Their whole lives were torn apart. Scattered here and scattered there. Tragedy happens but I know she cared.

December, blues.. Should of known I would miss you.. I took your presence for granted while you were still around. If only you could hear my thoughts aloud.. Just once. Just one chance to get all of this off my chest. I hope you knew. I’m sure you did. But, even if you did I wish I could let you know again.

This time of the year, I swear I can feel you around me more than ever. And it sends chills right through me. Memories come and they go. Sometimes, they sneak up on you. December, blues. I’ll never stop missing you. The past may slowly disintegrate. I always remember when it comes time for December.

Advertisements

About mollyellarae12

What might have been is an abstraction. Remaining a perpetual possibility.. Only in a world of speculation. What might have been and what has been.

Posted on December 6, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: