4/07/11

I’ve got a few things to do. I’ve got some things to lose. But, none involving you. I may have a lot to lose. But, I have more to learn. I live and I learn. I’ve got passion. I’ve got soul. With every heart beat. With every single breath. I’m guilty of making false accusations. I’ve fucked up time and time again. I don’t know why I say the ignorant things I say. I don’t know why I do the unnecessary things that I do. I may not know much. But, I know a lot. I may not be sure what I plan to do. But, I know what I want to do. I’m selfish. But, I’m considerate. I often feel like giving up. But, I keep on pushing through anyway. I love and I hate. But, I love more than I hate. I take advantage of my time. But, I’m grateful at the end of the day. I give and I take. I often find myself feeling confused when things make sense. I say I’m not really concerned. But, I do care. Sometimes, I feel empty but I strive to live life to the fullest. I claim not to conform to anything. Everything except just being me. I pray. But, I curse more than I do pray. I sometimes feel lost. But, I’m right here. I get watched but I watch more. I dream big and small. But, big more than small. I’m patiently impatient. I make corrections. But, I make more mistakes. I rush. But, I procrastinate more. I claim to be this and that. But, I’m just me. I praise. But, I criticize more. I’m constantly changing but I still remain the same. I say I want peace. But, I fight. I’m easy to satisfy but I still want more. I’m broad and bold but I still run. I say I’m ready for the future but most of who I am is stuck in the past. I’m ordinary. But, more unusual. I say I’m free but I feel trapped. I often find my mind cluttered. I see signs all around me but I’m still not sure what’s the right way to go. I’m together but I’m a mess. I want to inspire but I’m the one searching for inspiration. I’m sane. But, more insane. I’m dishonestly honest. I need to get real and get right. I tell and listen. But, tell more than listen. I’m normal. But, I’m more weird. I need and I want. But, I want more. I’m aware. But, more in doubt. I proceed than find myself back at square one. I’m in it but out of it. I say life goes on. But, how do I really know. I’m alive but someday I’ll die. That’s all I know.

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About mollyellarae12

What might have been is an abstraction. Remaining a perpetual possibility.. Only in a world of speculation. What might have been and what has been.

Posted on April 7, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Ah. Human complexity at it’s finest. In you, love.

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