I see visions. Vision after vision. They screw with decisions. I’m delusional. So much chaos. Chaos turns to madness. My mind gives me mixed signals. Signal after signal. So many mixed signals. It would easier to just pack my bags and flee somewhere miles and miles away. But, I stay. I stay here. Among all the madness. I spend hours trying to justify every little thing; Where did everything go wrong and how can I put the broken pieces back together.. There’s no way. It’s like I woke up one morning out of the blue and things were in ruins. I can’t suppress these visional modalities. They are stuck in the depths of me. So perplex. So complex. Restless night after the other. I toss and I turn trying to put these feelings together in a way that would make some logic. It’s inconceivable. It’s irresolvable. It’s unattainable. It’s all messed up beyond belief. So many things left unsaid and unanswered. It’s all a part of the big unknown. It would be much easier if I could just say to myself, “This is the way things are. That’s how it’s supposed to play out. Were not meant to comprehend it. It just is what it is..” Or something like that. But, my conscious contemplates and deliberates. Yet, nothing ever actually gets answered. That’s what makes it all so significant. We will never live to know why things are as they are. It’s beyond our human capability. We can try rationalize all we want. But, no substantiation can erect such a thing. We live and we learn. But, never fully figure out the things that are meant to be left unanswered.