So, what’s on my mind tonight.. Shit, I don’t know where to begin. Today has been a strange day and I’m not even sure why it has. I’ve felt loopy all day. I hate days when I feel like that. I came home and worked on a report. Took a nap. Woke up. Ate and watched some television. Took a bubble bath and started thinking. All of a sudden, images from my past starting playing through my mind. It was weird. Lets just say there are things from my past that I try to block out. It’s extremely difficult to do that but I don’t know what else I can do to cope. My childhood was anything but normal. I don’t think anyone actually has lived what you would call a “normal” childhood. But, mine was just off the wall. There are things that I shouldn’t of had to deal with when I was a child. There are a million things that my family keeps from me. It always leaves me wondering. Maybe, it’s best that I’m not aware of such things. But, my mind still ponders.. It’s times like these that I wish I had someone I could vent to. I miss my grandpa so much. And I miss my cousin Christina. She would definitely listen to what I had to say. And she was always honest with me. I need that sometimes. I suppose that sometimes I make my childhood seem worse than it actually was. But, it was never just happy smiles and laughs for me. Parts were good. Other parts were really fucked up. I used to always say that things were going to change. It took years for that to happen. I’m grateful that I am where I am now. I hope that things only progress and improve for me..


About mollyellarae12

What might have been is an abstraction. Remaining a perpetual possibility.. Only in a world of speculation. What might have been and what has been.

Posted on March 7, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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