Insanity.. Is it possible for one to reach that point? I feel like I’ve almost reach that point sometimes. For you guys that think you know me.. I’d think again. I’m really not the happy-go-lucky person that I put my self out to be most of the time. & I try and try to inspire people. But, it’s difficult for me to take my own advice. I’m not saying I’m fake. I’m simply saying that there are a lot of things within me that I hide and don’t share to the world.
I have people ask me all the time why I like John Lennon so much. It’s not only the music and art. It’s the image. John Lennon and I are a lot alike. I feel a kinship with him. He always talked about “Giving Peace a Chance.” And these of that sort.. But, he was actually a tortured soul. As I am in some instances. John just wanted to inspire as many people as he good. But, he never could take his own advice. See the comparison?
I spend most of my time alone. Maybe that’s where the emptiness is coming from. I don’t quite know. All I know is I don’t quite like who I’ve become. I just don’t know how to go about changing myself. Like Lady GaGa said in an interview I watched not too long ago… “We are our most terrifying individual monster.” That’s so true. We fear ourselves. At least most of us do..
& I always get these really weird feelings from time to time. If I explain myself, you’ll probably think I’m extra crazy. But, I’m going to anyway. Out of nowhere, I feel like all hot, sorta like I have a fever, then I feel like I’m going to throw up, and I get dizzy. It’s hard to explain. But, it lasts for a few minutes and then goes away. Maybe it’s stress related. I haven’t looked into it yet. Oh, stress.. Yeah. Adults aren’t the only one who get stressed.